I would have if I could have!

VICTORY!!!

Alright, I admit, the medal's not mine. It's my friend GB's medal who ran his first marathon in Ottawa last Sunday.

Finish time: 3:42:06

I warned him not to go out too fast, but did this rabbit listen to his tortoise friend? Nope. Half split was 1:38:34. Incredibly, this was almost the same time as his half marathon finish in 2007 of 2:37:00. I'm pretty sure if he'd been a little more conservative with his first half, he would have easily knocked off 7-9 min. from his finishing time.

Nevertheless, an impressive first marathon and I'm very proud of my good friend :-)

Mind you, if he had actually trained properly for it, i.e. his longest run was only 24km, then I'm sure he could have easily run sub 3:30. I'm not the greatest influence for him though as he admitted using my guerrilla training tactics ...

Geoff: "Hey, if it works for you ..."

I rolled my eyes. He'll hopefully know better when I drag him out to a fall marathon ... and also to another particular race with me one day.

Sally: You're gonna do Ironman with me one day, right?

Geoff: Yeah, sure.

This guy has more guts than me!

I've got a new look to my website!

This week has flown by ... I don't even remember exactly what I did as training this past week ... some running and some swimming but I never got around to the cycling even though I had set up my bike on my trainer.

GB, my good friend and webdesigner, called me back at 10pm Thursday evening. I needed to redesign my website and had a deadline. Shortly before, he had given me bad news. He had too much work to do to be able to help me out on such short notice. But being the amazing person he is, he set me up with a basic template and gave me a quick tutorial on how to use Joomla!, the hot CMS (Content Management System) these days.

I worked all night and learnt what I needed to do to create my website. Good thing I'm a quick study!

Geoff checked out my website the following morning ... "Holy sh*t, it's bursting at the seams!" Some adjustments to the colours and bits of editing to text and lo and behold, we were basically ready to go live the next day!

www.bonniemak.com

Then I finally got some sleep ...

Saturday

- swam 40 min., lost count of laps because the pool was so busy and the swimmers were so fast. Besides, I had trouble keeping my goggles snug on my face which was really annoying and made me take extra breaks. I swam about 1500 m, I think.

Later that evening, I met up with some friends and we went to a Meetin' Montreal meet'n'greet at Brutopia. Terrifically fun evening! We played this hilarious icebreaker game. We had been asked to submit three non-evident "secrets" about ourselves a few days previous. Our responses were compiled into a list and it was up to us that evening to figure out which statement belonged to who by mingling.

I wasn't particularly interested in meeting the person who matched this statement: "I am Supremely Intelligent." Seems like I wasn't the only one who felt that way ...

Sunday

- ran 11k, part of it with a hungover JC who had gone out with me the night before. Needless to say, he didn't fare too well. I felt surprisingly good, probably since I had had an inspiring week full of change. As I ran by two men out chatting on the porch, they cheered me on. How cool was that!

That evening, Operation Triumph celebrated some new members and the official launch of the website with a potluck supper. We got treated to some superb singing. Find out more here.

Monday

- Excellent swim today! I experienced a technique epiphany that really made me feel and go faster ... or perhaps it's just the exercises I've been doing with my arms - my pull might have gotten stronger. All I know is that I had a good feel of the water and felt like I was slicing through quicker than usual. Woohoo! I hope to develop more and more of that feeling. I've gotta better my swim time at Ironman, you know!

2 x 500, 5 x 250

Total = 2250m

Post-race mayhem and exhaustion ... but oh the food!

Sunday evening with PB

The delectable celebratory menu:
- Warm goat cheese croutons on green salad
- Curry ratatouille
- Cashew and vegetable rice
- Heavenly Hash ice cream

- PB and I stayed up way too late talking and philosophying ... ugh ... so much for getting a good night's sleep.

Monday

- had to get up and get to work by 7:30, a new contract at a new company ...

- legs felt pretty wrecked in the morning. I walked very slowly all day. The woman training me at work likes to take the stairs. I had to confess to her that I had just run a marathon. I spun around and went down backwards ... she laughed.

- getting out of the chair after sitting for a while was a little difficult, but not as difficult as going to the ladies' room. OOF!

- stayed up late and wrote my race report, so STILL didn't get enough sleep

Tuesday

- legs felt better, still sore, but I was able to go down stairs frontways

- after work and before supper I had an awards ceremony to go to ... I was sooo proud!

- post-race Chinese food celebration with my Coolrunning Montreal gang. We all ate like pigs ... (clockwise, starting at 2:00) ... tofu stuffed with crab and shrimp, salt and pepper pork chops, sesame beef, General Tao's chicken, white rice, and snow pea leaf with garlic. YUM YUM!!Another chicken dish loaded up with all sorts of vegetables arrived a few minutes later, but we couldn't wait ... we were too hungry and had to dig in and eat!

- (left to right) Don, GB (who ran the half), TB, me, Mercury (who ran the half), LifeAny, and Runningag (who ran the full)

- RG walked painfully down the stairs out of the restaurant. I ran down them past him like a mischievious urchin. TB was jealous of my "hardy constitution and incredible ablility to recuperate". Another late night ... OOF!!

Wednesday
- Headache
- Legs feel even better and I can walk at fast speeds, even want to run ... so I did so, down the stairs at work

Thursday
- I cancelled supper with a friend and ate a sandwich. I had not even taken off my make-up nor brushed my teeth when I fall asleep at 8pm. I was exhausted, what with not having had enough sleep and starting a new job (the stress of a sharp learning curve and new environment!)

Friday
- Got up without the alarm this morning. If I had set it, I would have had the time to go run. Instead, I slept in and got 11 hours sleep. Let's say, I felt super-energetic having now gotten enough sleep. I'm going to have to find a way to expend some of this energy this weekend ... I feel fully recuperated! The real test will be running again ...

Ottawa Marathon 2007 Race Report

I thought I wouldn't do it. I thought I couldn't do it. I felt helpless to change my mother's situation - I could not make her better. I felt lost. In my sadness, I deferred my race.

But then my friends said:

"You can do anything you put your mind to."

"Where the mind is willing, the body will follow."

I had an epiphany.

I realised that if I don't feel hopeful and believe entirely in the power of the mind, then how can I expect her to do the same? I cannot help my mother be strong if I am not strong myself. How would I be able to support her if I have already tumbled to the ground? I pulled myself together, dried my tears, and drove out to Toronto.

It was great to see her smile. The kids and I gave her hugs. I asked where she'd like for us to travel together ... she's never seen the world. I told her we'd need to start planning since she was going to get better.

Upon returning from my mother's, I felt sad all day. I needed something to shake me up and WAKE ME UP from this horribly glum state. I needed to run, and so I did ... 25 km.

Then I *knew* that I could do it, that I would do it ... I wanted to ROOOAARR!! I needed to prove to myself once again the power of the mind ...

The Ottawa Marathon was back on again.

My friend, GB, who had originally planned to run this marathon with me but couldn't, had a change in his weekend plans and decided to come out to support me. I convinced him to sign up for his first race too, a half marathon :-) Thank you for making sure I got back home safely, GB ... I am so proud of your fast 1:37:00 time ... You totally rock!

************************************

Wake-up: 5:15 am

Breakfast: Oatmeal, banana and tea

Clothing: Long-sleeve shirt covering the nifty official race tank top and tights

Marathon start time: 7:00 am

I elected to use my triathlon bib belt as I did not know where to pin the race bib. I dropped the idea of wearing my water bottle belt as I needed to be as light as possible and did not want to feel encumbered. It was difficult enough knowing the kind of challenge that faced me. I would be running 42.2 km with only 186 km of training during the past two months ... or rather 4.4 km training per km racing. (Or as TB says, "The most for the least!") There are marathon training programs that average that kind of mileage over two weeks of running. I had stretched it out over eight weeks ...

I figured I'd arrive at the race site just before the race started. I had no choice ... it's incredible how humming and hawing about what to wear can quickly waste time. On my walk over, I felt overdressed and contemplated turning back to change into shorts. No ... no time left. I didn't want to miss the start.

I made my way to the assigned corral based on my prediction when I registered, though I knew that this race would be much slower than originally planned. I would finish BOP, back-of-pack, instead of MOP, middle-of-pack. I had no time to find a position farther back ... The horn sounded and off we went!

Uphill start but I tried to take it easy, purposely not stressing out at the realisation that I was even less prepared for this race than for the NYC Marathon, where I still had some residual Ironman fitness left in me. I was quickly passed by the faster runners but I didn't care.

From the race website:

"The 1/2 and full marathon courses are scenic and flat with very few elevation changes. Considered to be an excellent course for first timers and those looking for a personal best."

HA!! I beg to differ. There were way too many of those little Gatineau hills and I knew that my quads would pay the price later with lactic acid build-up. I had neither speed nor strength. My legs would neither lift any higher nor would they turn over any faster. I stopped four times during the first half of the course for pee breaks ... what was with my over-active bladder? Good thing Ottawa is renown for its greenery since I only found one port-o-let.

I wanted to run faster but somehow felt like I had shifted into "reflective cruising mode" and was actually enjoying the reverie. Other runners wanted to talk to me and I answered politely but I didn't feel like talking or running with anyone. I wanted to be alone.

My body had found the catharsis that I needed and inside my little bubble, I collected my mental strength, not just enough to finish, but more than enough to support my mother on the next leg of her difficult journey with cancer. I needed to create and feel HOPE and ACCEPTANCE within every particle of my being. Hope to help her heal and acceptance to be able to enjoy every moment we will have together.

Warm sun, shirt off, cold wind, shirt on ... More clouds set in and I was glad that I had chosen tights over shorts. Light mist, shirt off ... ahhh, how refreshing ... but my hands are so cold! Blow on them ... Slippery roads ... rain rain go away ... shirt on ... Medic, do you have any gels? Only chocolate? Ewww!

When the marathon joined the half marathon course, it was a little disconcerting being passed again by so many, but at the same time, strangely uplifting, as these runners with more energy than I also gave me energy, and I soon found myself running their speed though I had started 12 km ahead of them. When the two race paths separated, my sudden solitude was made sharper knowing that I had the hardest part of the marathon still ahead of me. I was tired, my bunions hurt, my shins were tight, and my quads were crying out in pain.

I tried to relax as much as possible and focused harder on the mileage countdown. Unlike most of my past marathons, I didn't curse angrily in my head nor did I question my decision to run or wonder if I would ever race again. I accepted the pain.

38 km ... 40 km ... 750 m left, I sped up ... 500 m left, I sped up some more ... 200 m left and I gunned it to the finish, lifting my legs as high as I could, pumping my arms with equal determination, and cutting through a throng of racers.



How does one describe the utterly incredible feeling of completely challenging the body, mind and spirit?

Another day. Another marathon, #12! Another shiny race medal. And my heart and soul are once more full of hope and strength and courage :-)

I love you so much, mom.

Chip Time: 5:04:50
Placement: 2765/3115
Split @ 10km: 1:14:19
Split @ 21.1km: 2:35:32
Split @ 30km: 3:39:38

For those who are curious, yes, I did do a negative split ...
21.1-42.2km: 2:29:18, faster by 6:24

How much can HOPE buy someone?

When I moved to Montreal, I had just finished high school and the only person I knew was DL, who I had met that summer in French Immersion while in Montreal, and who, by the way, is still a dear friend of mine though he moved to Toronto. I had two bags and my sewing machine. I had no money and no place to live. A kind friend who I also just met at French Immersion loaned me rent.

I went through first year university as a typical super poor student since I had a $1500 dentist debt for which I had to make monthly payments. It didn't help that I had school and books and my apartment and food to pay as well. I remember the week I had $8 for food, no credit and no money coming in. I scrimped on what I ate and made it through the week with some bucks left over.

I still know how to make a delicious meal with very little.

Many times in my life, I have had to start from scratch, like ... after leaving my alcoholic first husband, when I had no job and no money ... I painted the apartment then spent Christmas and the day after that, yes, Boxing Day, my birthday, alone. I was happy to at least have a couch since I didn't have a bed. And a kind friend bought me groceries as a Christmas present. That friend, MS, is still a good friend.

Fast forward through lots of times when I didn't have enough work therefore, no money ... I had chosen a hard path. I wanted to be an ACTOR. I've known I wanted to be this since I was a kid and went against all cultural conditioning to become "that doctor" ... though I've played both a doctor and a nurse in different films.

Fast forward again and I found myself a single mom with no work, no money, two toddlers, having to find a new home and restart a flailing career. The break-up is an ugly sad story that you'll have to read about yourself in my book one day ...

Zip, zip, zip ... time flies by quickly, I realise how fast but have no easy way of slowing it down ... zoooom!

First marathon. Rebuild career. Sons get taller - they are so handsome! Raise money for charities. Mother ill. Bad car accident. Ironman. Mother gets new liver. 11th marathon. Injuries from accident healing. Mother ill.

"What's the point?" you ask ...

How much can HOPE buy someone?

I think THAT is one of my most precious gifts ... the ability to hope and the ability to believe that I can make things happen. I realised a long time ago that things weren't going to happen by themselves. And I learned to NOT be afraid or think that I shouldn't or couldn't.

I know it is "I will", not whether "I can or can't".

One may ask, "Why me, why now, why this?" but no answer could ever change anything that is actually happening. Things just "are" and how one decides to accept or change something is where one's HOPE lies ... it's what you decide to do with the situation.

HOPE is the ability to evoke change, whether it is within oneself or within a situation. And maybe the change we evoke, whether within or outside ourselves, will shine a beacon bright enough to illuminate someone else's darkness.

I was speaking with my good friend GB the other day about how life is a puzzle ... will we ever be able to find all the pieces, do these pieces belong together or will I have to cram them all together? What do all these pieces mean? What picture am I creating?

The edges of the puzzle are your soul. And you decide the picture ... yes, YOU decide the picture.

Swim training yesterday:

- I slipped into the pool and swam for 21 min., just one tuck turn to say I did it, and the rest touch turns ... nice and easy, then I finished off with some back crawl

1000 m front crawl + 50 m back crawl = 1050 m = some respite from my sadness

Can you drive a little more in my lane please?

Driving pet peeve:

Drivers that keep one tire on the line, or worse, keep one tire on MY side of the lane. Even worse than that are drivers who drive in two lanes, thinking it's just one S-U-P-E-R-W-I-D-E lane just for them. These drivers are often on their cell phones. Or driving some huge SUV, oblivious to the real size of their vehicle.

Ottawa Marathon Training - W5, Day #1

Planned run: 25 km
Actual run: 8 km

GB called me Sunday morning to tell me he couldn't run with me. Dang! Running alone these days sucks, especially for such a long time. Nothing to distract me, no chatter, no jokes. So no long run ... besides, I had had very little sleep, had to work in the afternoon, and also had dance practice later on.

All is not lost yet though! Let's wait to see how the rest of the week goes ...

Monday

Do you ever get one of those crazy hectic days in the office where everybody wants you to do something for them NOW?

Besides making some stupid errors due to too many things to do at once (now rectified of course), I finished later than expected and had to cancel my after-work plans to do more work elsewhere (Hey, I'm contractual!) And during the most crazy and hectic part of today, I felt my toe go through my sock. Great.

Tonight's training:

40 laps = 1000 m in 21 min. Easy-going swim, I tried to stay relaxed. Not bad considering I stopped to stretch and adjust my cap and goggles a few times. I must be doing something right with my technique as I am much faster than last year.

Cool down with another 8 laps, so total swim was 1200 m. I'm happy that I can finally do breast stroke without pain in my neck. My whiplash has healed considerably :-)

Weekend Delights!

Ottawa Marathon Training Summary - Week #3

Planned mileage for the week: 40 km
Actual mileage for the week: 9.2 km

Decrease from last week's mileage of 38 km = 75.8 %

Um, I ain't doing so good ...

But I did hit the pool again on Saturday and swam a kilometre (40 laps non-stop) , then of course, played with the kids.

Saturday evening yumminess:

First BBQ of the season ... I make the most amazing BBQ sauce from scratch. Can't believe the kids ate more than I did! On the menu, BBQ boneless and skinless chicken thighs, romaine and endive salad lightly tossed with salt, pepper, olive oil dressing, and something my mom introduced me to ... red rice, waaaay better than brown rice. Super tasty!

Sunday evening yumminess:

I've been promising my kids to make these for a while. Chinese sticky buns. These ones are filled with minced pork and seasonings. I also made some with Chinese sausage inside. For those who don't know what they are, well, I would post a pic but we ate them all. They're small and red and a little sweet ... absolutely delicious and one of our favourites.

I have fond memories of my mother spoiling us with buns like these ... she used to make them occasionally along with all sorts of exotic goodies. Everyone's got their comfort foods, and I think EVERYTHING my mom used to cook falls under that category.

I made sure to eat a good supper because GB came by afterwards and we ran on the mountain together. I brought my headlamp as the mountain path gets quite dark and there's hardly anyone around.

We passed some silly girl wearing headphones, no headlamp, and running by herself. GB and I looked at each other ... yup, same thoughts. Not the wisest thing to do, run in the dark alone on the mountainside without being able to hear the predator pouncing on you because the music is blasting too loudly. Or second scenario ... "I've sprained my ankle because of the uneven path and it's only a 5k walk back down the mountain."

Ottawa Marathon Training Update: W4, Day #1

Planned Mileage: 21 km
Actual Mileage: 21 km

ROCK ON!!

I got gypped!

Ottawa Marathon Training - Week #2

Day #2: 12 km planned for Thursday

Thursday morning started off with a great swim, 90 laps = 2250 m :

- 8 laps front crawl warm-up
- 4 laps kick
- 4 laps on alternate sides
- 8 laps zipper
- 8 laps pull-buoy
- 6 x 8 laps front crawl
- 10 laps cool-down (breast & back stroke, long gliding front crawl)

I was supposed to run in the afternoon, but being the wimp that I am, when it started to drizzle freezing rain, I said, "Heck, I'll wait for it to pass."

Well, it didn't pass ... it turned into snow, lots of it. The icky, slippery, very wet, twist-an-ankle kind. Not the light, fluffy, powder, I'd-rather-snowboard-than-run type. Here's a pic at the beginning of the snowfall ...

It fell and fell so I continued diminishing my stack of paperwork that had accumulated last year while I was too busy training for Ironman. "There's always tomorrow!"

So no run Thursday.

Friday came but where did it go? Still in paperwork and feeling on a roll, my evening run and swim somehow faded into the background. Besides, why tire my legs out for ...

Actual distance ran: 18 km Saturday morning

Followed this up right away with 20 push-ups and 60 crunches. They weren't easy. Ugh! Thanks GB for running with me!

Later on, thought I would slip in a short swim. According to the schedule on the internet, the pool closed at the half hour ... Twenty past the hour and I find myself getting kicked out of the pool. WHAT?! Dang, I got gypped! So I only had time for a 650-yard swim in 15 min.

Those fried onions are the culprit!

No snowboarding recently ... too cold, and my youngest has a cold. But we managed to take a little dip in the pool yesterday. Met up with JC who told me about his recent swim workshop in the Alexander Technique ... will have to check it out online.

Invited GB over for hamburgers last night, something I rarely make, but I was long overdue. It was his first invitation over for hamburgers and you can bet your bottom dollar he'll be over again for them. I have other friends who totally love my burgers too. GB polished off four burgers, admittedly munching down the last one just for the taste. I must say, we were all pigs last night, as I was wolfed down two and a half myself, with my youngest eating almost as much, two and a third, winning hands-down in the "pound-per-pound" category of who can eat the most. He only weighs about 55 lbs. GB would have had to have eaten seven burgers to tie.

What makes these hamburgers so enticing and delicious?

Fried onions with steak spice, my friends ... try it ... come over to the dark side ... you will never be able to stop at one burger anymore ... mouah-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!

Hanging out with the guys ...

Today was quite the social day ... First on the agenda was breakfast at Byblos on the Plateau with Maurice Alarie, my massotherapist for the last 6 years. He's seen me through every marathon, every triathlon, and also through my car accident. He's given me amazing support with all my endeavours. Highly recommended! Today we had a pick-my-brain meeting as he's set up his services at the Serei Martial Academy and wanted my marketing opinion.

We laughed about how we couldn't understand people twiddling their thumbs, wondering what to do with their time. How do people get bored ... there is just so much out there to do! Both of us have been independent workers for a long time and we immensely enjoyed the freedom of enjoying our days as we wish ... without the constraints of a 9-5 routine. Doesn't mean that we don't work hard, just means that we have more choice of when. But that when also means financial insecurity and most people can't handle that.

Life is full of choices.



Rushed off after the meeting to swim with JC, another freelancer. Didn't have more than a half hour but worked on my catch, still looking for that perfect balance of power and effort and efficiency. Boy I have short arms. Even when I sprint, I still can't beat JC. We went for coffee afterwards to catch up on things other than swimming ...

And here is my friend GB. He came over after work and forced me to get out and run with him for a half hour. I felt like backing out because of the cold, but was glad when we decided to go for it anyway. One cool thing about my neighbourhood is the variety of restaurants. We opted for Vietnamese as the post-run food. Imperial rolls and Chow Mein ... scrumptious ...

The rest of the night was doing laundry. I was so tired from my "double training", I fell asleep on the couch while folding clothes. I woke up an hour and a half later embroiled in my freshly-washed sheets.