I miss you so much, Mom ...

Today, I'm driving my friend GB to the Ottawa Marathon. He's co-captain of my charity team, Operation Triumph, which raises funds and awareness for cancer. It's his first marathon and I'm so proud of him! I was supposed to run it with him but I've had a strange hip injury that's kept me off running. It'll be strange to be there as a spectator ...

In 2007, GB did the same favour and drove me to Ottawa so I could run the marathon. It was an especially emotional race for me because I was running to symbolize Hope that my mom would be strong enough to fight her cancer again ... she had just been diagnosed with metastisis to her lung and we were looking at viable treatment options.

But unfortunately, there weren't any ...

On April 24, 2009, at the young age of 66, my mom slipped away quietly from this world. She courageously fought a three-year battle with a horrible disease and inspired me to be a better person ... to be more patient, more loving, and more giving and I thank the Universe for this precious time that I have had with her.

Mom, I will be thinking of you tomorrow as I watch the runners go by ... and I will laugh remembering your comments and worries about my racing such long distances ... but you never told me to stop. And I will remember how you awoke early to see me off for my most recent marathon in Toronto last fall ... and how you had the most delicious bowl of soup waiting for me when I got home after finishing ...

Who would have expected that the grief from missing you, Mom, would far surpass the sadness I felt for you when you were ill? I cannot cry hard or loud or long enough to empty this horribly deep pain from my heart ...

Native American Prayer

I give you this one thought to keep
I am with you still – I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight
I am the soft stars that shine at night
Do not think of me as gone
I am with you still – in each new dawn.

I will always love you, Mom!