Regular programming tonight will be pre-empted by ...

Day off from training today. Jane crossed over ...

In my Chinese culture, we have a strong belief in the afterlife and when someone dies, there are certain things that we do to help this person "cross over" to her new life. We burn money so that she will never have a lack of this and we offer food so that she will never be hungry ... there are other things as well, but that is all that I will mention here. Oh yes, we also wear white ...

My friend R, who is Chinese too, and I are actors together, having auditioned and acted together several times. We've hung out together, we understand what single parenthood is about, he's acted as tech support when I needed computer help, we've seen each other's acting careers and love lifes evolve. There is also a certain understanding and intimacy that we've shared over these 13 years of knowing each other because of our similar cultural backgrounds and life choices. His having played the role of my husband three times on different productions, and even once having beaten and killed me (for T.V.) has added a certain dimension to our friendship, a certain special kinship.

I was very sad to learn this week that Jane, R's mother, passed away from cancer. She was a wonderful vibrant woman and I know how much she meant to her family and friends.

I have known too many people in my life directly and indirectly that have been affected by cancer. At the present moment, I have a good friend and also an extremely close family member who will both be starting chemo treatments. So when I cried at Jane's simple but intimate memorial service, it was not only for her and those that loved her, but also for my friend and relative who are presently ill, and for those I loved who have already passed away from cancer.

So I did not train tonight but chose to stay with R's family and friends, and what started out sombre ended in friendly chatter, stories and laughter, and Jane would have liked that.

Life is so precarious. I hang on to every moment of good health because things can change so abruptly. And if I can help in any way to make things better for everyone, then I will. This is what motivates me to join these charity racing teams ... because I am grateful that I can.

"The Reality of Cancer" by Bonnie Mak, Asianwave, March/April 2005
http://asianwave.ca/web/DesktopDefault.aspx?tabindex=5&tabid=68&last=1&index_=41;&artID=376