Our reality ...

A day in the life of Silly Sally

Was supposed to wake up super early and actually had a friend give me a wake-up call at 6am since alarm clocks and I don't quite see eye-to-eye. He chatted with me for a few minutes to try to keep me awake but had to continue his day so we said good-bye. Not good. Obviously the 2 1/2 hours sleep just wasn't working for me and I shut my eyes again. Didn't wake up for another 3 1/2 hours. Alright, 6 hours total sleep, interrupted mind you, but much better than usual. I got up and worked on my fund-raiser, sending invitations. There are so many things to take care of to make this event work ... good thing I am quasi-organised, well, at least I think I am.

Noon came and I scurried off to my kick-box class, which I haven't gone to since early December, before the Honolulu marathon. I am going to be sore tomorrow!

Then I met up with Grommit briefly - he had a present for me from him, Roly and Chops, all members of my running group. An Ironman blanket from IM Lake Placid! Uber-cool! I am a blanket fiend and will no longer have to fight with my kids over the throw blankets in my living room. They can keep their teddy bear blankets ... I have my own IM one!!

Then back home to work more on my fund-raising ... great ... two more sponsors. Sent more invitations out. Some friends have also told me that they would help to get the word out. Ideally, I would complete all my fund-raising earlier rather than later, before the heavy training program hits, which will be soon. When it does, I won't be able to subsist on 3 hours sleep/night. I won't even have a social life, not that I have much of one now ...

Anyway, just look at that clock ... time flies! And so did I, out the door. Would have loved to have run to the pool but didn't feel like getting all geared up just to peel it all off then put it all back on, damp and cold an hour later to run back home. Not tonight. The pool work-out ended up being more than sufficient enough cardio-wise, and combined with the kick-boxing earlier ... OUF!!

Well, back to work on my computer and the fund-raiser. Good thing I don't have any contracts going on right now. giving me more "free" time.


A day in the life of my mother

I called my mother, who lives in Toronto, right after I finished eating supper. I needed to know how she was feeling, I needed to know she was alright. I had been worried about her all day. I had talked to several friends during the day about my sadness and also about how scared my mother felt. When I spoke with her, her voice was weak and she spoke slowly. She was resting on the couch. She had finally eaten something and I'm happy she did.

My mother had spent the day in the hospital being poked and prodded, actually six hours worth of it. She told me that even with the freezing, she could still feel pain from having the long needle stuck into her repeatedly to aspirate tissue. She told me how afterwards, she was sitting and wondering why she felt wet - she had bled through her punctures and soaked her blouse.
My mother was in the hospital having the tumours in her liver biopsied. You see, that close family member that I was so upset about the other night is my mother and she has cancer. The biopsy is to help the doctors figure out what kind of chemo drugs to give to my mother to prolong her life. She will need a liver transplant.

Grommit, you mentioned previously in a blog comment that you wanted to know what was in my mind. So here I am telling you, I am telling all of you. In fact, this is not just what is in my mind, this is what is in my heart and in my soul, and I am crying inside and out with rage and with grief and wish so much that it was me suffering and not my mother, because I'm strong and I would come out fine, and of course run another marathon ... But this is my mother and I am so incredibly sad that I want to crawl on my belly and become a puddle of tears on the floor.

I deliberated not telling any of you, since cancer, though prevalent everywhere, still tends to remain intensely personal, too hush hush. But I don't think I would have been able to hide this from you and I would have exploded. And perhaps my mother might not even want you to know, but what does it serve to not talk about it? If one does not ever confront a horribly saddening reality and continues to believe that things will be just fine, then one will never be able to better the situation. Change comes with awareness and desire. I promise, I will do my utmost to try to change this horrible situation.

My mother's story:

- operation with blood transfusion
- couldn't figure out why she felt so ill and weak
- tainted blood scandal
- hepatitis C is diagnosed but half her liver has been destroyed
- her health and life in general is further complicated by hypertension and diabetes, type 2
- she tries to control her diabetes with diet and medication but starts to be afraid to eat much of anything
- her blood sugar level is still too out of whack and on a recent check-up, the nurse wonders how my mother is able to walk around at all
- the doctors find lumps in my mother's liver due to the cirrhosis (damage) and it is diagnosed as cancer

When I joined Team Diabetes and committed to doing the Ironman, I decided to dedicate this race to my mother because I realised how much diabetes complicates her day-to-day life. Never did I think that this race would come to symbolise so much more.

In my last big fund-raising project, I mounted a Campaign of Hope. I ran for a special little boy named Thomas who had cancer, and asked that notes and cards of encouragement be sent to him to let him know we cared. Thomas is a good friend's nephew and it is actually this friend, Phil, who convinced me to join Team In Training with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Canada the year before. I ran to honour my Uncle Kai who had passed away from leukemia.

This time round, I will race for HOPE and FAITH. I want to believe that the universe will parallel my mother's battle against cancer with my Ironman journey to the Finish Line. WE WILL SUCCEED!! Ever swim stroke, bike rpm, running stride I will take in training and during the actual race day, I do this with love for you, mummy.

I ask all of you to please say a prayer as often as possible for my mother and wish her well and success in her chemo treatments. I believe in the power of positive thinking and in sending good healing vibes. I'll keep you posted ... thanks so much for believing ...