"Cancer Batting Average" Snarky Rant #2

To C., here are some interesting stats that goes completely against your "I assume that someone who has cancer is gonna be okay" belief. Thank you for your wonderful sensitivity to my emotional state.

People I have known directly who have died from cancer = 6
People I have known directly who have had someone they love die from cancer = 7
People I know directly or indirectly who have survived cancer or at least in remission = 5
People I know directly or indirectly who have cancer and are/will be treated for it = 6

Total cancer sufferers in my life = 24
Total that have died = 15 = 62.5%
Total that have survived = 5 = 20.8%
Total that we don't know yet but cross our fingers and pray to God about = 6 = 25%

Total cancer sufferers that we love or have loved = 100%
Total cancer sufferers that we worry about or will always miss = 100%

When I woke up this morning, my eyes were still puffy from having cried so much last night, worried about those that I love who presently have cancer, and remembering those that did not make it. I did not feel like running, but my training called for a long run and I had told other runners that I would be there.

I know though from the past that no amount of pounding hard into the mountain during a run can eradicate grief. I recalled all the tears I shed as I finished each run, tears for my Auntie after her death from breast cancer, tears that failed to obliterate my sadness. I don't want to feel that kind of grief again and if thinking about this brings such turmoil to me, I cannot fathom how those who are in the midst of cancer are feeling.